How to Speak so People Really Listen

The straight-talking guide to communicating with influence and impact

Paul McGee

Why this stuff really matters.

“We can all talk. The challenge? Getting people to listen.”

Imagine the scene. You’re desperate to win a new job. You’ve completed a lengthy application process. You were thrilled to have an initial telephone interview. That went well. You progressed to the next stage. Your excitement increased. You prepared extensively for your face-to-face interview.

And then the letter came. You’ve made it to the final stage of the process. A second interview at head office which will also include you giving a ten-minute presentation.

You plan for this final interview as if your life depended on it. In some ways, you feel it does. Your years of study and sacrifice look like they will finally pay off.

You’re tantalizingly close.

You’ve never had any training or coaching on giving a presentation before, but you’ve sat through countless presentations.

You know the score.

Polite and formal opening.

A slide showing a list of bullet points outlining your objectives.

Then an overview of your background.

A section that includes an overview of the company and what you’ve learnt about them.

The next section is on the role and what specific skills you can bring to it, followed by a summary and conclusion.

Oh and one more thing. Your final slide.

‘Thank you. Any questions?’

You like making slides. And if the interviewer missed anything, you’ve written down all the details on them, which they can always refer back to.

You’re ready. This is it. The chance of a lifetime.

Fast forward two weeks.

The job went to someone. But it wasn’t you.

The recruitment agency informs you that you were the strongest candidate on paper. You’d made it down to the last three. Your background and experience were just what they were looking for.

You’re gutted.

So what went wrong?

In a nutshell: your presentation.

You bombed. The content on your slides overwhelmed them.

There wasn’t enough engagement with your interviewers.

The panel felt they didn’t get to know the real you. Just a corporate clone that failed to connect with them.

They sensed within 90 seconds of your start that you weren’t the right person. The rest of your presentation did nothing to challenge their initial impression.

You were smart in appearance. Professional, if a little wooden. Polite. Knowledgeable about the company and what the role required. But no thanks. They see dozens of people who are like that.

You didn’t stand out from the crowd. You were, I’m afraid, forgettable.

You needed to stand out.

You needed to grab their attention immediately.

You needed to deliver with energy and authenticity.

You didn’t.

Bye-bye dream job. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

The deal is:

When you’re bland, you blend.

Trust me, the above scenario happens every single day around the globe. The context may be different. So too might the process. But the outcome remains the same. The person with the strengths and experience lost out due to their ineffective communication skills.

The question is: how can you make sure that person isn’t you?

Now I recognize you might not have an important presentation to make for a job interview. Maybe you’re a charity worker hoping to influence people to support your cause. Perhaps you’re a manager seeking ways to engage and motivate your staff, or a teacher or trainer wanting to make a difference to people, whatever their age. Alternatively, you might want to convince your boss to take a new direction in relation to a particular project. Or maybe you’ve been asked to deliver a presentation to your peers at a conference, or your passion for politics means you want to persuade others that your perspective is the best way to make a difference to society.

Whatever the scenario or situation, here’s the sad reality:

You may have the expertise and experience.

The passion and professionalism.

The competence and the contacts.

But you could lack one crucial thing.

The ability to communicate your message in a compelling way that causes your audience to sit up, take notice and listen.

Here’s the deal:

Your ability to influence others, build your career, and achieve your personal goals is dependent on how effectively you communicate and engage with people.

Recently a colleague of mine was asked to sit on a panel that was responsible for awarding a £90,000 research grant spread over three years. All applicants were asked to present their case for why they should be awarded the grant. 

When you’re bland, you blend.

Trust me, the above scenario happens every single day around the globe. The context may be different. So too might the process. But the outcome remains the same. The person with the strengths and experience lost out due to their ineffective communication skills.

The question is: how can you make sure that person isn’t you?

Now I recognize you might not have an important presentation to make for a job interview. Maybe you’re a charity worker hoping to influence people to support your cause. Perhaps you’re a manager seeking ways to engage and motivate your staff.

So how does this specifically affect you?

Well, potentially you miss out on promotion, or the new job, or fail to secure some new business, and you do so not because the other person is better or more knowledgeable than you.

You lose out because they’ve mastered the ability to communicate more effectively and persuasively than you. They’ve learnt to sell themselves or their services in a better way than you have.

That’s the reality folks.

That’s why I believe developing your skill as a communicator is crucial. Master this skill and it will help get you noticed, get along better with others and get ahead in life. Fact.

You see, the harsh reality is that life isn’t fair. We don’t all start on a level playing field. But there is some good news. Where we finish can be influenced by a range of factors. And one of those factors is simply this:

Here’s the deal:

“Good people with a great message are not guaranteed a captive audience.”

How I know this stuff works

Here’s why I know this stuff works and am confident it will make a difference to you. If you use it, that is. Let me take you back to April 1989. Yes, I know it’s possible you might not even have been born then.

Me? I was on invalidity benefit (now known as incapacity benefit).

When I could walk I had to use a walking stick. But the majority of the time I was housebound. I’d lost a high-flying graduate job with a large multinational organization. The cause of all this? An illness commonly known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis).

At the time, eight out of ten doctors didn’t believe it was a genuine illness. Some still don’t. My own doctor was one of them. His response to my so-called illness? He sent me to see a psychiatrist in Liverpool. If I’m honest, I found it a challenging and humbling experience.

I was ill for nearly three years, but I got to a position where I felt well enough to work part time. However, my next big challenge was this.

No one would hire me.

Why?

I couldn’t pass a medical.

So here’s what I did. I hired myself.

I was awesome at the interview. Stand out candidate, in fact.

I think the technical term to describe my employment status was self-employed. My international headquarters doubled as a bedroom in a small house on the outskirts of Warrington. In my first year of business I earned the princely sum of £2,300. That’s over a whole year. My tax bill was fairly small that year. In fact, it was non-existent.

My accountant dumped me as I was wasting his time.

But despite that rather less than auspicious start, things did gradually improve. My training and development business grew. Over time, my business evolved into speaking at conferences and team events. People started calling me a motivational speaker. (Some also said I had a passing resemblance to Dustin Hoffman – in his younger days, I hope.)