Race cars

Formula 1 cars are like normal cars in many ways. They have gas engines, gears, and steering wheels. However, they are built with only one thing in mind, and that’s WINNING RACES!

A technical masterpiece
Every bit of a Formula 1 (F1) car is light and very strong. At its peak speed
of 225 mph (360 kph) air flows over it with the  force of a tornado, so it is as low and streamlined as possible.

Pit-stop pressure

 At pit stops, a driver refuels and gets new tires. This is  all done in about 30 seconds. That’s about the same amount of time as it takes to read this paragraph!

G-force 

A Formula 1 driver is shoved around violently inside his car as it twists around the track. A pushing force called g-force, which can be up to six times more powerful than gravity, shoves him backward, forward, and sideways as he races. You see g-force at work in a normal car by watching water sloshing in a cup.

Inertia 

G-force is caused by inertia. The law of inertia says that moving objects try to travel straight at a constant speed. When a car stops abruptly, your body tries to keep going forward. 

Steering wheel 

Because an F1 driver is concentrating so hard on winning a race and because the space he is in is so tight, all the controls for the car are on hand on his steering wheel. He has just two foot pedals—the brake and the accelerator. 

Up to speed

Once you’re on the move, you naturally want to go as fast as you can. But what makes sports cars really fast and tankers really slow? Speed isn’t just about raw power—other factors are at work.

Speed, velocity, and acceleration 

You measure speed by dividing the distance traveled by the time it takes. Speed is not the same as velocity, which is a measure of how fast you are going in a particular direction. You feel acceleration when you pedal your bike really hard. Acceleration measures how quickly your velocity is changing.

Horsepower? 

Engine power is still measured using a very old unit—the horsepower. It is based on how many horses would be needed to provide the same amount of pulling power. An average mid-sized car is equivalent to 135 horses.

Pulling power

 If you have a powerful engine you can accelerate very fast, which is why a sports car will always beat a lawnmower. But if you give a ride to an elephant your acceleration will suffer. That is because it takes more force to speed up heavy objects.

Milk tanker vs. Ariel Atom

 Both have a 300 horsepower engine. A full tanker can weigh as much as  110 tons (100 metric tons). The Atom weighs half a ton. Even though they have the same pulling power, the weight of the milk means the tanker takes 35 seconds to accelerate from 0 to 60 mph (97 km/h). The Atom can do it in 2.7 seconds, making  it one of the fastest accelerating  road cars in the world.

Not such a drag 

Nothing accelerates as fast as a dragster—not even the space shuttle. Dragsters can go from 0 to 330 mph (530 km/h) in less than 4.5 seconds. They use nitromethane as fuel, which provides twice as much power  as gas. The rear wheels have to be really big to  transfer the high power made by the enigne. 

How Things Work

Inventions

Any new idea or product that has been created by a person can be called an invention. Inventions change the way people live their lives—they make things safer, easier, faster, or cheaper.
Knowing your stuff
Technology is the science of how things work. The inventors of these shoes knew that a coiled spring is a source of stored energy. They used this technology to make powered shoes.
Better by design
Anyone can be an inventor. Many successful inventions came from engineers who used their knowledge of materials (such as iron) to try new things.
Modern technology
Today, the phrase “modern technology” is usually used to mean computers. But a few hundred years ago, steam power and mechanical presses were new and exciting technology.
Technology all around us
The use of science to provide new and better machines and ways of doing things is called technology. Every day, you use technology in one of its many different forms. Here are a few of them.

• Mechanical Mechanical

  ---

  Technology is the design, production, and use of machines like wind-up clocks and other appliances that do not use electrical, electronic, or computer technology.
• Chemical

  ---

  When the science of chemistry is used to turn raw materials into more useful things like plastics, cosmetics, or drugs, this is called chemical technology.
• Electrical Technology

  ---

  that deals with electrical circuits and equipment is known as electrical technology. It is commonly used in the design and construction of machines and power grids.
• Digital

  ---

  In digital technology, information is recorded using combinations of 0 and 1 to represent words and pictures. This system allows huge amounts of data to be squeezed into tiny spaces.
  Information.
• Biotechnology

  ---

  This term refers to technology that is based on biology—the study of living things. Biotechnology is commonly used in agriculture and food production. Genetic engineering is biotechnology.
• Medical

  ---

  Anything (like a tool, machine, process, or substance) that is used to diagnose, observe, treat, cure, or prevent people’s illnesses or injuries comes under the heading of medical technology.
  Digital .

Information

---

The study, design, and use of electronic information systems is known as information technology. The term covers machines like computers (hardware) and the programs they run (software) etc.

Simple machines

It’s hard to hit a nail into wood with your hand, but much easier with a hammer. Tools such as this are called simple machines. They help people work faster and better.

How to Speak so People Really Listen

The straight-talking guide to communicating with influence and impact

Paul McGee

Why this stuff really matters.

“We can all talk. The challenge? Getting people to listen.”

Imagine the scene. You’re desperate to win a new job. You’ve completed a lengthy application process. You were thrilled to have an initial telephone interview. That went well. You progressed to the next stage. Your excitement increased. You prepared extensively for your face-to-face interview.

And then the letter came. You’ve made it to the final stage of the process. A second interview at head office which will also include you giving a ten-minute presentation.

You plan for this final interview as if your life depended on it. In some ways, you feel it does. Your years of study and sacrifice look like they will finally pay off.

You’re tantalizingly close.

You’ve never had any training or coaching on giving a presentation before, but you’ve sat through countless presentations.

You know the score.

Polite and formal opening.

A slide showing a list of bullet points outlining your objectives.

Then an overview of your background.

A section that includes an overview of the company and what you’ve learnt about them.

The next section is on the role and what specific skills you can bring to it, followed by a summary and conclusion.

Oh and one more thing. Your final slide.

‘Thank you. Any questions?’

You like making slides. And if the interviewer missed anything, you’ve written down all the details on them, which they can always refer back to.

You’re ready. This is it. The chance of a lifetime.

Fast forward two weeks.

The job went to someone. But it wasn’t you.

The recruitment agency informs you that you were the strongest candidate on paper. You’d made it down to the last three. Your background and experience were just what they were looking for.

You’re gutted.

So what went wrong?

In a nutshell: your presentation.

You bombed. The content on your slides overwhelmed them.

There wasn’t enough engagement with your interviewers.

The panel felt they didn’t get to know the real you. Just a corporate clone that failed to connect with them.

They sensed within 90 seconds of your start that you weren’t the right person. The rest of your presentation did nothing to challenge their initial impression.

You were smart in appearance. Professional, if a little wooden. Polite. Knowledgeable about the company and what the role required. But no thanks. They see dozens of people who are like that.

You didn’t stand out from the crowd. You were, I’m afraid, forgettable.

You needed to stand out.

You needed to grab their attention immediately.

You needed to deliver with energy and authenticity.

You didn’t.

Bye-bye dream job. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

The deal is:

When you’re bland, you blend.

Trust me, the above scenario happens every single day around the globe. The context may be different. So too might the process. But the outcome remains the same. The person with the strengths and experience lost out due to their ineffective communication skills.

The question is: how can you make sure that person isn’t you?

Now I recognize you might not have an important presentation to make for a job interview. Maybe you’re a charity worker hoping to influence people to support your cause. Perhaps you’re a manager seeking ways to engage and motivate your staff, or a teacher or trainer wanting to make a difference to people, whatever their age. Alternatively, you might want to convince your boss to take a new direction in relation to a particular project. Or maybe you’ve been asked to deliver a presentation to your peers at a conference, or your passion for politics means you want to persuade others that your perspective is the best way to make a difference to society.

Whatever the scenario or situation, here’s the sad reality:

You may have the expertise and experience.

The passion and professionalism.

The competence and the contacts.

But you could lack one crucial thing.

The ability to communicate your message in a compelling way that causes your audience to sit up, take notice and listen.

Here’s the deal:

Your ability to influence others, build your career, and achieve your personal goals is dependent on how effectively you communicate and engage with people.

Recently a colleague of mine was asked to sit on a panel that was responsible for awarding a £90,000 research grant spread over three years. All applicants were asked to present their case for why they should be awarded the grant. 

When you’re bland, you blend.

Trust me, the above scenario happens every single day around the globe. The context may be different. So too might the process. But the outcome remains the same. The person with the strengths and experience lost out due to their ineffective communication skills.

The question is: how can you make sure that person isn’t you?

Now I recognize you might not have an important presentation to make for a job interview. Maybe you’re a charity worker hoping to influence people to support your cause. Perhaps you’re a manager seeking ways to engage and motivate your staff.

So how does this specifically affect you?

Well, potentially you miss out on promotion, or the new job, or fail to secure some new business, and you do so not because the other person is better or more knowledgeable than you.

You lose out because they’ve mastered the ability to communicate more effectively and persuasively than you. They’ve learnt to sell themselves or their services in a better way than you have.

That’s the reality folks.

That’s why I believe developing your skill as a communicator is crucial. Master this skill and it will help get you noticed, get along better with others and get ahead in life. Fact.

You see, the harsh reality is that life isn’t fair. We don’t all start on a level playing field. But there is some good news. Where we finish can be influenced by a range of factors. And one of those factors is simply this:

Here’s the deal:

“Good people with a great message are not guaranteed a captive audience.”

How I know this stuff works

Here’s why I know this stuff works and am confident it will make a difference to you. If you use it, that is. Let me take you back to April 1989. Yes, I know it’s possible you might not even have been born then.

Me? I was on invalidity benefit (now known as incapacity benefit).

When I could walk I had to use a walking stick. But the majority of the time I was housebound. I’d lost a high-flying graduate job with a large multinational organization. The cause of all this? An illness commonly known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis).

At the time, eight out of ten doctors didn’t believe it was a genuine illness. Some still don’t. My own doctor was one of them. His response to my so-called illness? He sent me to see a psychiatrist in Liverpool. If I’m honest, I found it a challenging and humbling experience.

I was ill for nearly three years, but I got to a position where I felt well enough to work part time. However, my next big challenge was this.

No one would hire me.

Why?

I couldn’t pass a medical.

So here’s what I did. I hired myself.

I was awesome at the interview. Stand out candidate, in fact.

I think the technical term to describe my employment status was self-employed. My international headquarters doubled as a bedroom in a small house on the outskirts of Warrington. In my first year of business I earned the princely sum of £2,300. That’s over a whole year. My tax bill was fairly small that year. In fact, it was non-existent.

My accountant dumped me as I was wasting his time.

But despite that rather less than auspicious start, things did gradually improve. My training and development business grew. Over time, my business evolved into speaking at conferences and team events. People started calling me a motivational speaker. (Some also said I had a passing resemblance to Dustin Hoffman – in his younger days, I hope.) 

how to do online business

Launching a business online can be exciting and profitable. It’s a great way to supplement an existing income stream or even to become one’s sole occupation. Many individuals and small businesses have met with tremendous success, some making literally millions of dollars a year, even after starting at ground zero, with no knowledge of the Internet beyond the very basics, if that. There are no guarantees, but it can be done. It does require patience and a willingness to go through the steps to get it right, though. That’s what we’re going to teach you here.
Why Three Services? In this book we explain how to use three different “channels” to build your business online: ■ Selling products through eBay auctions ■ Setting up an online store using Yahoo! Merchant Solutions ■ Promoting your business through Google, other search engines, and various other onlinemarketing mechanisms. Why three channels? There are a number of reasons: ■ Few businesses are simple enough to survive with a single method for finding business. If you sell hot dogs to people who eat hot dogs, you may need only to place your hot-dog stand on a busy street. But if you sell hot dogs to businesses that sell hot dogs to people, you would use many different ways to reach those businesses. ■ What works well for one business may not work so well for another. Using multiple channels to sell and to reach people increases the likelihood that you find the best one.
Copyright © 2006 by The McGraw-Hill Companies. Click here for terms of use.
 4 How to Make Money Online with eBay, Yahoo!, and Google
■ Multiple channels provide multiple opportunities. If you can find people to buy your products more than one way, why leave money on the table by only using one method? ■ You’ll find some of the things we suggest in this book can be implemented very quickly, in some cases in just a few hours. Having a range of different options helps you get your toes wet and work your way in slowly. For instance, an already established business could begin selling online with eBay over a weekend, gradually build the online business, then investigate other sales channels later. While it’s true that some businesses have done very well by finding something simple that works and doing it over and over again for decades, most businesses are not so fortunate. Thanks  to competitive pressures—other people want your customers too; remember—most businesses have to do many things in order to survive and thrive. What works today may not work tomorrow. Some method you try for finding more business may not work, or may not work well as something you haven’t yet tried. Business is an evolutionary process, with the notion of natural selection replaced by the degree of initiative of the business owners and managers. A business gradually evolves as the people running the business try new things, discard things that don’t work or that  no longer work, and adopt techniques that show promise. The three-channel method outlined in this book provides a great way to get started with an online business, showing you a number of essential techniques for surviving—and thriving—online. In particular, companies succeeding online often use a number of strategies to do so. These are the sort of things you may one day find yourself doing: ■ Selling through online auctions ■ Selling through discount channels, such as Overstock.com ■ Selling through merchant sites such as Amazon.com ■ Selling through a web store ■ . . . or, in some cases, several web stores, for different audiences or perhaps different pricing strategies ■ Buying Pay Per Click ads to bring buyers from the search engines to your store ■ Using Search Engine Optimization to bring buyers from the search engines without paying a click fee ■ If you own an offline business, using various techniques to integrate online and offline operations, pushing business from the offline business to the online, and vice versa ■ Using an affiliate program, paying other web sites commissions for purchases made by buyers arriving at your store through affiliate sites ■ Publishing an e-mail newsletter to keep in touch with customers and promote your products to their friends ■ Marketing through PR campaigns targeting e-mail newsletter editors ■ Promoting your products through discussion groups ■ And many other things . . .
One thing you can say about doing business online is that however successful you become, there’s always more to learn!
What Makes a Good Online Product? Just about any product can be sold online. But let’s be quite clear; some products sell much better than others. Let’s think about some product characteristics that both help and hurt products when selling online: ■ Price:weight ratio The price:weight ratio needs to be high; that is the price, in comparison to the weight, needs to be high. Books have a very high price:weight ratio— a book might be worth, say, $30/lb. Sugar might be around 35 cents/lb. The price:weight ratio issue is why it’s hard to sell sugar, cement, and charcoal online. ■ Availability Less available is good. Available everywhere is bad. That’s why it’s hard to sell candy bars online. ■ Information products Products that are essentially information sell well online. Books, reports, reference materials . . . even music is an information product, really. Why do they do well online? Because online technology provides a very efficient way to deliver information. It’s fast and it’s cheap. It’s no wonder that books were the first major product category online and remain one of the primary categories. ■ Complicated products requiring research The Internet is the perfect research tool, of course. Products that require careful selection—products with many different features— often do well online. ■ Wide selection of specialty products An example is one of the earliest small-biz successes, HotHotHot.com, an online success for over a decade. Sure, you can find hot sauce in any grocery store. But can you find Jamaican Hell Fire, Rigor Mortis Hot Sauce, 99%, or 3:00 AM? (The company provides 100 different brands.) Have you even heard of these? Another example is RedWagons.com. Certainly you can find two or three different Radio Flyer wagons in most toy stores, but where else can you find every Radio Flyer product made—steel wagons, plastic wagons, trikes, scooters, retro rockets, roadsters, and everything else? ■ Deals There’s a class of goods that crosses all classes, and even covers products that you might think of as Not Good Internet Products. If you can sell a particular product at a very low price, you may have a good Internet product. Hey, if you can get the price of sugar down low enough, you might be able to sell that online. ■ “Cool” products that sell themselves through word of mouth There are some products that are just so cool, people tell their friends. One company that gets fantastic word of mouth is ThinkGeek.com, which sells tons of really cool stuff (Figure 1-1). Another example of a great word-of-mouth site is Despair.com. This company sells products that people put on their office walls and laugh about with their friends.
No need to touch, smell, or even see clearly. Products that really require a close view generally don’t sell well online. That’s why it’s hard to sell furniture online and difficult to sell unique works of art or perfume. And that’s why well-known brands can sell  online . . . because people know what they’re getting. In other words, although it’s hard to sell perfume that your potential buyers have never smelled, it’s not hard to sell perfume from Christian Dior.
Okay, so there’s no such thing as perfect online product. But considering what would be perfect might spark ideas of what products are close to perfect. Here, then, is the perfect online product: ■ It’s valuable, with high margins. You’re not making a dollar or two per sale; you’re making dozens, perhaps hundreds of dollars. ■ It’s in demand. It’s a product people want and are willing to pay for. ■ It’s not widely available. Buying online may be the only way to find the product, or the particular variety of the product. ■ It’s a “research” product. People are looking online for this product right now. (Most products are not research products. At this very moment, out of hundreds of millions of Internet users, probably only one or two are trying to find out how to buy sugar online.) ■ It’s light and non-fragile, so it’s cheap and easy to ship. ■ There’s little or no competition online. ■ People love the product so much they’re going to tell their friends about you. ■ There’s no smell or texture, or anything else that makes the product one that “just has to be seen.” ■ You are intimately connected to the product in some way. The product is related to your hobby or passion. ■ Oh, and it’s legal! While a number of illegal substances match the perfect-product criteria, we’re assuming the risk outweighs the benefits.
 8 How to Make Money Online with eBay, Yahoo!, and Google
Understanding the Price Sensitivity of the Online Buyer Online buyers are far more price sensitive than offline buyers. That is, the price of the product is much more important for the online buyer than for someone walking into an offline store. When someone buys a product and has to select a particular merchant, they are “sensitive” to various factors, such as these: ■ The price of the product from that merchant ■ The convenience of purchasing from the merchant ■ The confidence they have in the merchant (whether the merchant “backs” the sale, for instance, if anything goes wrong) ■ The additional costs, such as sales tax and delivery Price is only one aspect in the decision to buy. But on the Internet, the weight given to price is much greater. This is a perfectly natural, and much predicted, state of affairs. Consider the buyer walking into a brick-and-mortar store who finds a product he’s interested in: ■ Many buyers don’t care about pricing much at all. They are more interested in convenience, selection, location, and sales environment. ■ Many buyers want the product now and don’t care too much about price, as long as it’s “in the ballpark.” If the buyer finds the product, there’s a good chance the sale is made. ■ Even if buyers are shopping for price, there’s a limit to how much driving around they’re willing to do. Again, if the price is “in the ballpark,” price may be trumped by convenience. ■ Buyers don’t think too much about how much confidence they have in the merchant; if the business can afford a storefront and take credit cards, they’ve already reached a certain level. We know all this is true, because offline prices are often higher than online prices. And haven’t we all been in stores and thought, “How do they sell at that ridiculous price?” The online sales environment is very different, though: ■ Buyers can jump from store to store very quickly. It’s very easy to find a low-priced product extremely quickly. ■ There are many sites that will even do the price comparison for you. There are the shopping directories (see Chapter 25) and the merchant sites (Chapter 28), where buyers, more and more, are beginning their shopping. ■ Many buyers are used to, and now expect, a low price. Price is a much more important factor for them than for most offline shoppers . . . they are much more price sensitive.  In fact getting a low price is why many online buyers are willing to delay gratification (to wait for delivery).
 CHAPTER 1:  How Your Business Fits Online 9
■ Many buyers now do a little research to settle on the exact product they want, then use a shopping-directory comparison tool to search for the product. Then they’ll ask for the system to show the products sorted lowest-price first and work their way through the merchants one by one. They often won’t even go past the first few low-price merchants before buying. Understanding these concepts naturally leads to a couple of conclusions: ■ If you have a really good price, you’re in a good competitive position. ■ If you don’t have a good price, many of the marketing techniques won’t be open to you; you’ll find it very difficult to sell through eBay, shopping directories, and merchant sites, for instance.
Does this mean price is always important, that you can’t sell a product unless you sell at a low price? No, not necessarily. It means you’ll have trouble with sales channels that compare your product with others based on price, such as eBay, the shopping directories, and merchant sites. But it’s possible to position your business—on your own web site—in ways that are not directly related to price. The lowest price does not always get the sale. ■ The big merchants have a real brand advantage. Many buyers buy everything at Amazon, under the (not unreasonable) assumption that it’s a pretty good price, if not necessarily the best. ■ Selection holds value. Web sites that have a wide selection have an advantage; if people discover a hard-to-find product on your site, they may stop looking. ■ Focus is important. Sites that focus tightly on a particular type of product—and have a wide selection of a very small range of products—have an advantage, too, for the same reason. It makes the unfindable findable. ■ A classy site trumps a trashy site. Trashy sites make buyers feel uneasy. Classy-looking sites make them feel more comfortable. Even if your product, in your trashy-looking site, is listed in one of the shopping directories above a product from a really classy-looking site, it probably won’t matter how cheaply you sell; the classy site is getting some (much?) of the business. ■ Recommendations count for a lot. If a buyer recommends your site to someone because they’re so happy with buying from you, you’ll get sales regardless of price. ■ Simplicity is good. Making it easy to buy helps turn visitors into buyers. AllAboardToys .com, for instance, sells products you could buy on Amazon.com if you wished, but they make it much easier. ■ Brand differentiation matters. Look for ways to make your business stand apart. ShaneCo.com, for instance, a national jewelry chain, doesn’t compete on price directly; it competes on value and unique designs. They’ve positioned themselves as the price leader for high-quality jewelry, so they don’t have to compete head to head.
eBay in particular is a very price-sensitive forum. Your products will be listed alongside other products, the same or similar, so buyers can quickly see the price at which products sell.
 10 How to Make Money Online with eBay, Yahoo!, and Google
To Ship or Not to Ship Here’s an interesting strategy, one that has worked well for many companies yet also represents some risk: Take orders, but don’t ship. No, we’re not talking about scamming buyers; we’re talking about acting as an order taker, not a shipper. This can, in some cases, make perfect sense. You operate the web site, the e-commerce store, the auctions, the shopping-directory listing, and so on. You carry out the marketing campaigns to bring in the sales, and you process the sales. But you don’t ship the products; rather, you send the order to a manufacturer, wholesaler, distributor, or even retailer, who manages the shipment. (This is known as drop shipping; you take the order, your partner “drop ships” it.) This type of business has some huge advantages: ■ Lower initial investment You don’t have to buy your initial inventory. ■ Less hassle Packing, shipping, and managing returns are nuisances you can do without. ■ Tighter focus You get to focus on Internet marketing and sales, not managing inventory, packing, shipping, and returns.
Of course there are different ways to play this game. Another scenario is to put everything from sales transaction to shipping to customer service in the hands of the supplier. All you do is manage the store and the marketing and let the supplier do everything else, including running the transaction through their own credit-card merchant account, almost totally absolving you of all responsibility.
Conversely, there are dangers and disadvantages: ■ If the supplier doesn’t ship it, you get blamed! ■ You get a lower cut of the sales price and profit. ■ You have less control of the quality of the products shipped to your customers.
Watch out for the scams! There are plenty of companies that will be happy to sign you up, to act for you as a drop shipper or wholesaler. Most of these are bad deals, selling junk. Be very careful and only get into business with reputable companies. In fact, you’re probably not looking for a company that touts itself as a drop shipper. You’re looking for a company that already ships products, that is willing to also ship for you.
How would you find an arrangement like this? Keep your eyes open, research local companies, spend a lot of time looking in stores, reading mail-order catalogs, and so on. Then, when you think you’ve found a good opportunity, you’ll have to make personal contact.
WorldWideBrands.com is a well-respected directory of drop-ship wholesalers. For $69.95 you’ll get a lifetime membership to the directory, which contains information on thousands  of actual wholesalers that have agreed to drop ship for small businesses.

LIFESTYLE Of Your Dreams

WHAT IS A LIFESTYLE ENTREPRENEUR?

Think of the most successful person you’ve ever seen. What does he look like? Who is she with? Where are they going and how are they travelling? Despite the specifics, there is a good chance they look happy and radiate a sense of confidence that is born from accomplishment. This is what a Lifestyle Entrepreneur does. They are successful people who do what they want, when they want to, with whomever they please. And they do it in style, making it look easy and inviting in the process.

Endless opportunities present themselves to the successful, as do appeals for help and aid. In both cases it is because successful people are men and women of action who are involved in a variety of lifestyle pursuits and have myriad business interests. The confidence to make the decisions necessary to be successful comes from having a positive self-image and a strong identity. It requires that you know yourself through and through, and trust yourself to make good decisions given imperfect information.

They are successful people who do what they want, when they want to, with whomever they please.

You may already have a strong set of beliefs, or a blueprint for success in one area of life. If decision making comes easy to you, then you’ve got a headstart on discovering, or reimagining, your identity and expressing it through your lifestyle and businesses. If not, then it really is a process of discovering your identity, by removing any covers or filters that prevent you from acting the way that feels right and experiencing happiness in your life.

Success and identity go hand in hand. You can’t act in a way that runs counter to your basic values and expect to feel no guilt or shame, let alone happiness. No. Success is acting in accordance with your core values while pursuing business interests and passion projects with friends and partners around the globe. That is the path of a Lifestyle Entrepreneur on the road to mastery.

Taking inventory of your current belief system and identity is the first step towards becoming a Lifestyle Entrepreneur, so let’s get started!

LIFESTYLE ENTREPRENEURS ROADMAP

Let’s begin with the end goal in mind. The Lifestyle Entrepreneur’s Roadmap summarizes the core concepts presented throughout Lifestyle Entrepreneur. Indeed, gaining an understanding of how these concepts interrelate will give you the tools to design your lifestyle and build businesses that reflect and amplify your identity, interests and passions.

These are represented by the star tetrahedron, or the Centerpiece Star. As two interlocking triangles representing the behavioral aspects of your life and what you are creating and manifesting as a result of them, this star serves as a reflection of your identity at any given time. As time goes on, interests change and life circumstances change. The Lifestyle Entrepreneur’s Roadmap is a flexible tool to help you create the lifestyle and entrepreneurial endeavors you value most. 

DISCOVERING YOUR IDENTITY

Becoming a Lifestyle Entrepreneur begins with a true understanding of who you are through your identity and core values. This requires you to become self-aware and assess your current circumstances in life, and then to define and design the most compelling vision for the future you can. But before we get there, let’s begin by taking inventory of where you stand today in terms of your worldview, your competencies and skills.

To do this we will start by looking at the three internal identity drivers that inform your experience in life. These are the Mental, Emotional and Physical aspects of who you are. Collectively the internal identity drivers construct your perception of reality in terms of what you think is possible, how you feel about your life experiences and what you’re physical capabilities and limitations are. These are the biological foundations of your identity.

Once you realize the dreams you have today, the horizon for what is possible stretches extends and new goals that may have seemed totally unobtainable will start to come clearly into focus.

Then we will look at how the “inside comes out” through the three external identity drivers that determine how you perceive and experience your place in the world. We’ll refer to these as your psychological components, which describe what you Know, the things you Do, and the roles you play (how your show-up, or Be in the world). Collectively, the internal and external identity drivers are a function of your belief system and are the system that dictates how you see the world and how others experience you.

Following is an exercise that provides an opportunity to take an honest assessment of your biological and psychological foundations and will empower you to discover, and ultimately reimagine, your identity. It will tell you where you stand and what needs to be done to change and create the identity you really want. This is good because after getting clarity on your identity today, I want you to go through the exercise again to create your ideal identity for your future as a Lifestyle Entrepreneur. This will come about by focusing on your interests and identifying your passions, re-engineering the inward drivers of your identity so that you can support the new external manifestations, and ultimately living an entrepreneurial lifestyle of freedom and opportunity.

With clarity on the biological and psychological sides of the identity equation, all the other tools, tactics and strategies in this book will become a bridge from where you are today, to whom you’ll become tomorrow. And you know what the best part is? Once you grow and realize the current dreams you have today, the horizon for what is possible stretches further into the distance and new ambitions and goals that may have seemed totally unobtainable will start to come more clearly into focus. This is the way to build momentum and go from strengh-to-strength, exceeding your expectations and serving as a role model to those around you.

You can revisit this exercise at any time, take a snapshot of where you are, and strategize for the next steps you’ll take. The goal here is to be living in alignment with your interests and passions and doing it on purpose. When your internal identity drivers are aligned with your outward facing persona, actions and undertakings, well that is the sweet spot where the magic happens. This fully-expressed version of you is represented by the centerpiece star at the heart of the Identity Map. This is you living out your fullest potential with clarity and purpose, serving as an inspiration to others and making money in the process. I’ve seen it happen time and time again, in my own life, in my client’s lives and across the global network of Lifestyle Entrepreneurs who I deeply admire and consider some of my closest friends. The creation process never gets old.

The goal here is to be living in alignment with your interests and passions and doing it on purpose.

So let’s get to work! Here we will walk through the construction of each component of your Identity Map using my experiences as a case study. This should start the wheels turning in your mind so you can create an Identity Map that accurately reflects where you are today, and more importantly, where you want to go tomorrow.

THE INTERNAL IDENTITY DRIVERS

Your Biology: Mental, Emotional and Physical

Mental — The mental identity driver consists of your thought patterns and reasoning abilities. When you are thinking logically in terms of cause and effect, or thinking about the structure and blueprint that underpins a business, a language, a skyscraper or a class curriculum. All of the mental drivers reside in your mind. So when you are thinking and planning, you are engaging your mental abilities, and for our purposes here it is important to take inventory of how your thought patterns operate, and really drilling down on how you perceive the world.

For this exercise it is useful to write down 3-4 of the mental drivers you identify with wherever you are in life right now. What are the logical and rational qualities that you embrace when interacting with your friends, your family, your work colleagues or that you value in your relationships?

So grab a pencil and a sheet of paper! Finish these sentences and you will begin to get clarity on the current state of affairs for your mental identity drivers:

The intellectual challenges I enjoy most are…

My approach to planning and problem solving is…

I am most satisfied when I am thinking about…

I get my best ideas when I am…

When I think about my life a year from now the first thing I think is…

Why do I think ______ is totally unrealistic?

I think that I can….

My Mental Identity Drivers:

When I really think through the things I value most that reside in the mental sphere, I came up with these four:

Embrace a Culture of Life-Long Learning — Essentially my brain is wired to always be taking in new information and structuring it to be useful towards whatever I’m interested in and passionate about at the time (which become explicit with the external identity drivers).

Enjoy Challenge of New Languages — After spending a year living in Austria studying German and a couple years studying Mandarin Chinese in Beijing, Taiwan and UC Berkeley, it has become clear to me that I love studying languages as it gives me an expanded perspective on communications (in general) and how I interact with people in English.

Strategic Thinker — Since a young age I have always looked at situations and opportunities and projected forward how they could be elaborated and expanded. Basically, setting a strategy for accomplishing goals and minimizing things I’m disinterested in has become my default way of thinking

Crave Novelty — Scientifically, new experiences stimulate brain activity, increase neuronal connections and release dopamine, giving a feeling of satisfaction. For me, I feel the most satisfied when I’m pushing forward the frontiers of my knowledge on a number of fronts at once. I enjoy the stimulation that new sights, sounds and surroundings provide. Systematically introducing novelty gets me thinking beyond my current situation.

Summary:

The mental identity drivers (your thoughts) are the precursors to emotions and ultimately your actions, all of which are subject to your belief system. We’ll cover this in greater depth in an upcoming section. For now the important thing is to take inventory of where you are at today in terms of what you find mentally stimulating and in what ways your thoughts comprise your identity.

Emotional — The emotional identity driver deals with your intuition, feelings and creative sensibilities. Emotions are essentially “energy in motion”, which cause feelings and your emotional state to rise and fall. In contrast to the mental drivers, emotions are non-linear and are not subject to logic and reason. They are created by your beliefs and how your beliefs interpret events and the physical stimuli that your body receives. Emotional drivers are experienced through your intuition, your creative sensibilities and how you feel and fare in the face of challenging circumstances, as well as the feelings that accompany triumph and victory after working through them.

Much has been written about the difference between male and female brains when it comes to emotional capacity and emotional intelligence. However, it goes without saying that both men and women experience emotions, even if it shapes our identities in different ways. So no matter what gender you are, it’s important to recognize that emotions are a function of your beliefs and thoughts, and influence your actions and how you’re perceived by others.

Now begin to take inventory of your emotional identity drivers by completing the following sentences:

When a new opportunity presents itself I feel…

If I am excited about, but unfamiliar with, a topic/challenge I feel…

The activities that give me the greatest feeling of joy are…

Once I decide to do something I feel…

When things don’t go the way I planned my emotions…

The emotional environment I grew up in could be described as…

My Emotional Identity Drivers

Here are some of the key emotions, general feelings and emotional states that influence my identity:

Feel the Fear, Do it Anyway — When I’m certain about a course of action, but ensure about how stressful and/or potentially embarrassing it will be I just go back to this mantra, take a deep breath and dive in. Every successful person has failed numerous times before ultimately succeeding, so I know I’m in good company.

Proud of Accomplishments — This is the feeling of success after putting in the work. Pride on its own may not be the healthiest emotion, but taking time to appreciate my accomplishments has never diminished them in my eyes.

Determined to Succeed — If there is one thing I am scared of it is not so much failure as it is mediocrity. Falling down in the pursuit of a passion is a learning lesson that helps know what to avoid next time; failure is not getting back up. Determination helps me get up and keep moving further towards the goal line.

Healthy Nervousness — This is a little different than the first one in the sense that being a Lifestyle Entrepreneur isn’t really about surety and security; it’s more about facing the unknown and wanting to know it despite a healthy nervousness or anxiety to explore new industries and interests.

Summary

Being aware of your emotional state as well as what heightens it and depresses it is a critical part of becoming a successful Lifestyle Entrepreneur. Emotions are the biological bridge between thought and action. All great performers get nervous before hitting the stage, but that feeling focuses the mind and speeds up your biology so you deliver the best performance possible. Trusting your feelings is the key to integrating mental thoughts into physical actions.

Physical — The physical identity drivers describe how you relate to the world through your five senses, how focused you are on health and fitness and your genetic disposition. Just as your thoughts impact your emotions, and your emotions affect your physical state, so can your physical health and well-being alter the way you think and feel. As we’ll discuss in a later section, beliefs, thoughts, emotions and actions all impact one another and are the primary variables in formulating and maintaining your identity.

Taking inventory of your physical state includes what you do to your body and what you put in it, but also touches on what type of body you were born with. Being super tall can make people pre-disposed to say, playing basketball or needing to stretch more, while having some type of allergy or medical condition would drive a different worldview and lifestyle choices than someone without them.

Finish these sentences to start shedding some light on the physical drivers that influence your identity and lifestyle choices:

In order to stay healthy and in shape, every week I…

When choosing what to eat and drink, I focus on…

The environments and activities that make me feel energized are…

The traits I was born with that influence how I interact with the world are…

The physical traits I am most satisfied with are…

The physical traits I am not pleased with are…

To be even more healthy and fit I could focus more energy on…

My Physical Identity Drivers

Here are some of the physical drivers that influence and define how I interact with the world:

Cycling & Gym 5x/Week — Once I got serious about getting in the best shape of my life, and started feeling the benefits of doing so, this workout regimen started to fall into place. I love cycling and also getting a full-body workout in the gym. Fortunately the two are complimentary.

Mostly Healthy Diet — Yeah, that’s right, mostly. I like having a few drinks and some dessert from time to time. Other than that, I’m pretty careful about not eating too many empty carbohydrates or sugar. I use vegan protein supplements and drink lots of fresh vegetable juice in the morning. By dinner time, all bets are off.

Enjoy Being Outdoors — There is something relaxing and rejuvenating about spending time outside. After a walk outdoors, a long bike ride, or a swim in the ocean it is hard not to feel good.

Dairy Allergy — Life dealt me this deck of cards, and I’m playing the hand. I used to be very allergic to dairy (like no cheese on pizza growing up and forget about ice cream), now I can enjoy these things in moderation but this allergy lead me to discover some delicious alternatives like coconut water.

Summary

The key point I want to convey here is that changing your physical state can initiate changes in your emotional state and mental state. The internal identity drivers are all interconnected in this way, and I’ve found that many people underestimate the impact that improving their health, diet and sleeping patterns can have on productivity and accomplishments. When I know I need to focus on something important, I’ll make sure to exercise beforehand, eat healthy and get a full night sleep. Then my mental and emotional states are primed for productivity.

THE EXTERNAL IDENTITY DRIVERS

Your Psychology: Know, Do and Be

The internal identity drivers describe what’s on your mind, what’s in your heart and what’s going on with your body. Collectively these factors influence how you feel day-to-day and start to paint a picture of your own self-image, how you perceive and experience life from the inside looking out. The external identity drivers define how you are perceived by others in terms of the knowledge you have, the activities you’re involved in and the roles you play personally and professionally in the world. In the Discover Your Identity exercise they are represented by Know, Do and Be, which are the external manifestations of your internal thoughts and feelings through your physical being.

Essentially the goal of this exercise is to take a snapshot of where you are right now, today, in terms of living fully expressed and aligned with your interests and passions. Ideally, how you “show up” in the world and the things you do and pursue are an accurate reflection of your internal makeup. If something is out of alignment or some facet of your personality is not being properly expressed, well that’s fine for now, and it’s good to identify it, because it makes explicit the things to focus on it order to be fully aligned with your passion and purpose.

Take a snapshot of where you are right now, today, in terms of living fully expressed and aligned with your interests and passions.

The first run through this exercise gives you a snapshot of where you are today and then you can create the Identity Map for your tomorrow. This gives you a clearly marked path from Point A (today) to Point B (tomorrow) and all the other tools, strategies, case studies and stories in this book help form a bridge to get you there.

Know — These are the areas where you have considerable knowledge and expertise. Whether it is because you have studied extensively to grasp the concepts, or because you have first-hand experiences that inform your understanding, these are the topics and areas of interest where you have accumulated enough knowledge to speak confidently about them.

Looking forward into the future, these are the things that you want to learn more about, understand better and eventually master. This could be skills relating to a new business venture, just as they could be areas of interest that you have simply always wanted to know more about. One of the core principles of all successful Lifestyle Entrepreneurs is to “embrace a culture of life-long learning”, so dig deep and think about what topics in the world intrigue you to study, learn and attain a relative level of proficiency and expertise at.

To give you some structure and direction for identifying three to four primary areas of knowledge that you currently excel in, try finishing the following sentences:

Some of the topics that I really understand and have studied to support my career are…

The last three books I read were about these topics, or focused on this general field of interest…

One of the things I’ve always been passionate about and now have a solid understanding of is…

The things I actively read about, watch films or TV to learn more about or follow in the newspaper are…

The expertise that people are willing to pay me for professionally falls into these categories…

Knowledge Expressed as an Identity Trait

These are the things I’m interested in that show up externally to others in my life. The things I Know that others can observe:

Entrepreneurship — In the beginning, I turned my love of music and playing guitar into running a record label to support my band. That was learning by doing, but I have since founded a number of companies and read dozens of books on entrepreneurship (as well as written one!) so this is a fairly well-rounded area of expertise for me.

Chinese Language — From my first trip to Shanghai in 2008 to the present I have launched a wholesale USB business that manufactured in China, and studied Chinese in Beijing, Taiwan and UC Berkeley. I even won 3rd place in the California Chinese Speech Contest a few years ago, but I have since resigned this to an interest of mine, as opposed to making it my #1 career focus.

Lifestyle Design — As a function of my innate curiosity and love of new experiences, cultures and countries I have designed many interesting iterations of my lifestyle and now understand how to help others do the same. Being open to new experiences and not restricting myself with too many responsibilities in any given place or time allows me to have a fluid experience of life that blends work, play and travel.

Current Events and World History — One of the things I loved most about going to college later in life was the chance to really understand the bigger picture of what is taking place around the world now, and over the course of history. I studied Political Economy, which is essentially the study of how the world works and has worked over time as a complete system.

Summary

The extent to which you explore new areas of interest dictates how others perceive you and shapes the opinion others have of you. What you specifically choose to learn more about is a function of your internal identity drivers and is an important variable in your externally expressed identity.

Do — This is all about taking action. What do you do day-to-day, consistently over time and across the span of a year? This category describes the actions you take for your career and for personal enjoyment. These are the things you do (ideally) because they give you great pleasure and personal satisfaction, but if that’s not true today then you know what to write for the next exercise. Here you want to record the actions you take that have consequence and create value in the world

What you Do is a function of your emotions (or your energy-in-motion) and is analogous to your emotional internal identity drivers being expressed outwardly. Simply put, in an ideal scenario, you would Do the things that give you good emotions and imbue you with a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

To get your mind thinking about the actions you take and the activities you’re engaged in over time, try finishing these sentences:

If I were to describe the core function of my current job or business, the thing that I am hired to do is…

My daily routine consists of these specific actions…

I take the knowledge and experience that I have and put it into practice by doing these things…

One way I give back and help others is…

My favorite thing to do that is totally independent from work is…

If money, time and geography were not constraints, I would…

Actions As An Expression of Identity

Here are the top four things that I focus on doing consistently and with conviction, the areas where the rubber meets the road and I am taking action:

Launch Businesses — In the last year through Lifestyle Entrepreneurs Academy I worked alongside five clients to launch five businesses. I also launched co-founded a travel products company and a non-profit to provide funding to student entrepreneurs. It’s safe to say that launching businesses is always on my agenda.

Travel Abroad Three Months Per Year — For the last half-decade it has been my focus to spend at least 25% of my life outside of my home country of America. This is at once exciting and rewarding, but it also prevents me from having a limited perspective, I always want to have a global perspective, especially since the world is more interconnected than ever before.

Create Training Products and Services — With my experience launching businesses and traveling for extended amounts of time, I turn that knowledge into training products and services (such as this book!) to help others follow the path of a Lifestyle Entrepreneur.

Fund and Coach Student Entrepreneurs — Through a non-profit I co-founded with a former classmate, University Incubator, my partner and I provide 0%-interest financing to student entrepreneurs. Our goal is to help them “create their own job by the time they graduate”.

Summary

By and large you are what you do. At least in terms of your identity being externally expressed, what you do defines who you are to those around you in a big way. Conversely, if what you are doing now does not feel like an accurate representation of who you are and what you want to be, then it’s time to focus on acting more in-line with how you feel inside and beginning to update some of your internal identity drivers to support a more accurate external expression through your actions day to day.

Be — These are the most easily accessible aspects of your identity. These are the roles you play personally and professionally represented by the names and titles that appear on your business cards or website. This is how you are described in any marketing language or PR that has been written about you. Essentially, these are the expectations others have of you before they meet you, based on your position, rank or title. This how you appear to others in the world.

This is the analog to your Physical internal identity driver in the sense that it is the outward appearance you give to the world. What you wear and how you act are a part of it, but it’s also the qualities of character you embody and the first impression you give others before you say a word.

Finishing these sentences will give you clarity on what roles you’re currently playing personally and professionally:

The word or words that best describe me are…

The primary roles I play when serving others through my profession are…

The ways I appear to others when I’m living fully expressed in my interests and passions are…

My family and friends would say that I am…

On my best days, the impression I give others is that I am…

When I am introduced to someone new, the person making the introduction would say that I am…

To Be or Not To Be…

…that really is the question! So here are the top four roles that I play in a personal and professional context. If the first time you heard of me is through this book, then these shouldn’t be too surprising, but keep in mind that my Identity Map for where I’m at today is a lot different than it was five years ago and it’s something I worked methodically towards since then.

Lifestyle Entrepreneur — This is my answer to the first question above, these two words describe me better than perhaps any others in the English language. This is who I am, I use the skills of entrepreneurship to design and live an awesome lifestyle, and of course it’s the title of this book!

Instructor and Coach — For many years I was a professional dating coach, training guys to meet and attract the girls they found attractive. Nowadays, I’m the founding instructor for Lifestyle Entrepreneurs Academy and I coach aspiring entrepreneurs to turn their interests and passions into products and services.

Author and Speaker — These are in the same category since the majority of the speaking I do is based on Lifestyle Entrepreneur. When someone reads this book and comes to hear me live somewhere, it is an extension and expansion of the same content and experience.

Trusted Friend and Family Member — To my close friends, I am someone they can always count on. No matter where I am in the world, I’ll jump on a call (or a plane) if one of my friends needs help. When I’m not traveling I live fairly close to my family so we can stay close despite constant changes in our lives.

Summary

How you appear to others, the impression you give off and how others ultimately perceive you is the end result of the things you know, put into practice, take action on and are consistent with over time. When you know what you want, it becomes clear what must be done. As you do, eventually you come to be. And that is your identity!

Entrepreneurship — In the beginning, I turned my love of music and playing guitar into running a record label to support my band. That was learning by doing, but I have since founded a number of companies and read dozens of books on entrepreneurship (as well as written one!) so this is a fairly well-rounded area of expertise for me.

Chinese Language — From my first trip to Shanghai in 2008 to the present I have launched a wholesale USB business that manufactured in China, and studied Chinese in Beijing, Taiwan and UC Berkeley. I even won 3rd place in the California Chinese Speech Contest a few years ago, but I have since resigned this to an interest of mine, as opposed to making it my #1 career focus.

Lifestyle Design — As a function of my innate curiosity and love of new experiences, cultures and countries I have designed many interesting iterations of my lifestyle and now understand how to help others do the same. Being open to new experiences and not restricting myself with too many responsibilities in any given place or time allows me to have a fluid experience of life that blends work, play and travel.

Current Events and World History — One of the things I loved most about going to college later in life was the chance to really understand the bigger picture of what is taking place around the world now, and over the course of history. I studied Political Economy, which is essentially the study of how the world works and has worked over time as a complete system. 

For reference https://blogging.org/

Persuasion

“Not brute force but only persuasion and faith are the kings of this world.”

Thomas Carlyle

Sandra wants Paul to do something for her. How can she convince him to comply?

1. Beat him with a bamboo branch.
2. Threaten him with a meal of crushed glass.
3. Establish rapport.

While beatings and threats may relieve your stress levels and make you feel all macho, and while these behaviours may work as persuasive techniques in the short run, they do little to promote trusting relationships. Openness, honesty, and integrity lie at the heart of persuading.

Before going any further, remember that this book is about non-verbal behaviour and the role it plays in various scenarios, including the process of persuasion. There are obviously many principles and techniques available out there about influencing and persuading in general, but this chapter specifically addresses the role of rapport, body language, and a bit about the voice. Just so we’re clear.

Rapport is Your Path to Persuasion

What is rapport? Why is rapport important? How do you create rapport? What does rapport have to do with non-verbal behaviour? These are questions clients frequently ask.

Simply stated, rapport is a state of understanding feelings and communicating well. When you are in rapport with other people you accept and connect with them, treating one another with respect. When you’re in a state of rapport you have a shared mental connection or bond. You “get” one another.

“I think there’s a natural chemistry between us as friends; and there’s really no separation between the rapport that we feel when we’re in conversation and when we’re playing music, it’s one in the same.”

–Benny Green

So why is rapport important? Because it’s the gateway to success. When you want to persuade others, start by building a trusting, ethical, respectful relationship. That’s rapport.

You create rapport by demonstrating interest in other people. You gain insight into their mental state by noting the following.

Facial Expressions

• Eyes. The eyes are the mirror of the soul. If another person avoids making eye contact with you, or tries to stare you down, give them the space to act out their negative behaviour before responding. You can say “I notice that…” or “Help me understand…” in order to get them to see things from your point of view. If their eyes are dull and lifeless, match their behaviour for a few minutes until they feel comfortable with you. Then you can change the mood by looking at them as you engage in conversation. If you’ve built a trusting relationship, the other person will return your gaze.
• Mouth. Pursed lips indicate a tight point of view as well as an unwillingness to communicate. A ready smile shows interest and welcomes you into the person’s space. If someone seems disinclined to engage with you, smile and be patient. As long as you treat people with respect, they will eventually come around.
• Face colour. While you may find it difficult to mirror another person’s blush, knowing how you feel when you go red helps you understand what the other person is experiencing. Demonstrating empathy is a pathway to persuasion.

Gestures

Observe the types of gestures and movements other people use if you want to understand their mindset. For example:

• Finger pointing at another person is a sign of aggression.
• A backward flick of the hand is a dismissive action.
• A jiggling foot indicates impatience.
• Rubbing the neck or throat is a signal that you need relief.
• Twined legs and clasped hands are signs of discomfort.

When seeking to persuade someone who’s demonstrating negative behaviours, patience is required. You don’t want to reflect back what you see, as doing so really lowers the tone of the interaction and reduces the chances of reaching an agreeable outcome.

Rhythm of Movement and Energy Levels

• If the other person’s body is still and his gestures are few, you’ll struggle to establish rapport if you’re bouncing about in a Tigger-like fashion.
• Conversely, if the other person is full of energy and you’re more contained in your actions, you’ll find establishing rapport easier when you adapt your actions to match theirs.

• Vocal Patterns

  People’s voices reflect their past and their present, their hopes and their fears. By identifying the sound, pitch, pace, tone, and volume of another person’s voice you can tell whether they’re feeling positive or negative. Knowing that guides you in choosing the best way to approach them.
  • A resonant voice, like a church bell or a Tibetan monk’s chime, is full, rich, and easy on the ear. People are drawn to resonant voices. This voice conveys authority and indicates power. Aim to match this sound when persuading them.
  • A voice that is shoved in the nose, stuck in the throat, or buried in the depths of one’s body indicates that the speaker is holding back something about himself. Ask them to tell you more about their thoughts and points of view to elicit useful information when the time comes to persuade them to see things another way.
  • A voice that comes from high in the head is expressing excitement, enthusiasm, and energy. Adopt these tones to show that you’re on the same wavelength.
  • Slack muscles around the mouth and tight muscles around the jaw prevent clear articulation. Avoid these negative behaviours.

  • “ People have deep and painful reasons for not wanting their voices to be heard. Respect that and encourage them to speak. ”

    Breathing Patterns

    • Fast, slow, deep, or shallow, aim to match the other person’s breathing rate and placement. This technique gives you an insight into what the other person is experiencing. A deep sigh is a sign of release. Quick, shallow breathing indicates anxiety.
    • Avoid staying in a strenuous breathing pattern for too long. If you prolong taking short, shallow breaths too, you will start to feel anxious. Not a good feeling when you want to be persuasive.

    Word Choice

    The language people use and the way they deliver their message tells you about their point of view. When you know their mood and mindset, you’re able to adapt your behaviour to communicate best with them.

    • People who pepper their conversation with derogatory words and negative critiques tend to have low self-esteem and a pessimistic outlook. They struggle to establish and maintain eye contact. Their gestures are closed and include pointing fingers, clenched fists, tight lips, and a 
    • furrowed brow. They find establishing trusting relationships difficult. Other people avoid spending time with them because being in their company feels burdensome.
    • People who include positive words and phrases when they speak are likely to have high self-esteem and view the world optimistically. They demonstrate interest in others. Their gestures are open and welcoming. They make eye contact, nod in agreement, and smile with understanding. Others are drawn to their company because of the positive energy they exude. Being in their company feels good.
    • When you’re looking to persuade someone to your point of view and their behaviour is positive, reflect back what you observe. When their behaviour is negative, listen, reflect, and address what you have noticed, using supportive language and behaviour, including:
      • nodding in acceptance and acknowledgement
      • leaning towards the other person
      • establishing and maintaining comfortable eye contact
      • smiling as appropriate
      • containing your movements and gestures
      • • • using phrases such as “I’ve noticed that…” “From what I’ve observed, you appear to be…” “What else can we do to…?”
        • Demonstrating warmth, interest, and care goes a long way in getting others to come around to your way of thinking.

        Posture

        • A body that is limp and lifeless displays disinterest.
        • A body that is upright and alert demonstrates engagement.

        Reflect back the positive actions you notice. Acknowledge the feelings being displayed in the negative behaviour, by using supportive language and an even tone of voice.

        When you establish rapport through mirroring and matching behaviours, your chances of persuading other people to see your point of view are increased.

      • THE TALE OF THE TWO TRAINERS AND ME

        One evening, after a long day at the office, I attended a workshop addressing rapport building. I was tired, the room was hot, and my energy levels were low. The trainer, whose name I can't recall, came bounding into the room like a basket of puppies. Every movement, every gesture was a tsunami of energy. I felt overwhelmed and disrespected. I recall no learning from the session.
        Not long afterwards, I attended another workshop. This one was early in the morning. The journey to the venue was arduous. As in the previous workshop, I was tired, the room was hot, and my energy levels were low.
        The difference between the two trainers was measurable. Based on clear observation, the second trainer matched my behaviour, including my energy levels. She sat down next to me, spoke quietly, and leaned towards me as we engaged. Her gestures were few and her movements were calm. Soon I felt comfortable in her company and she was able to persuade me to participate in the programme in ways I wouldn't have if she hadn't first gained my trust.

      • “ Persuading others to your point of view requires a trusting relationship, which can be created through establishing rapport. ”

        You can establish rapport by mirroring and matching the behaviours you observe in a respectful way. By demonstrating similar actions, you’re showing that you have comparable ways of addressing the world. You understand one another and are, as the Italians would say, simpatico, with a special bond between you.
        One of my colleagues who loves to dance describes being in rapport as dancing with a partner whose body fits hers. They dance on the same wavelength, with firmness and flexibility. They move in sync and are comfortable and in tune with one another. There’s a shared sense of peace and compatibility. She follows her partner because she trusts him.
        She then goes on to say:

        “Being out of rapport is like dancing with someone who is either rigid or flaccid. Neither is good. They either put no muscle into their movements or push and shove you around the dance floor with no sense of rhythm or harmony. I don’t feel compatible with them and don’t trust them to guide me… dancing with them is no fun.”

        People who get on well move in unison – leaning forwards, leaning backwards, making similar gestures at the same speed and rhythm. Applying these principles when you want to persuade others to your point of view is a vital part of the process.

        “  With rapport, all things are possible. Without rapport, life is an arduous journey. ”

        Four Principles For Building Rapport

        1. Mirroring

        When you mirror someone, you become the mirror image of them. For example, if you were standing in front of someone who raised her right hand with the palm facing towards you, you would raise your left hand with the palm facing towards her, creating a mirror image. Mirroring is not mimicking and should be subtle and respectful to avoid causing offence or embarrassment
        

      • 2. Matching

        Imagine standing in front of someone who raises her right hand. Rather than raising your left hand, as you would if you were mirroring, raise your right hand too. Matching is different from mirroring in that it is less obvious and more outside your conscious awareness. When you’re matching someone, allow a bit of time to pass between when the other person gestured and when you respond. Otherwise, you could come across as mocking and disrespectful, not good attitudes to display when you’re trying to persuade someone to follow your lead.
      • Mirroring and matching are ways of tuning into someone’s thought processes and how they are experiencing the world. When you mirror and match you are listening with your whole body. When you are in rapport with someone this behaviour happens naturally, making you both more capable and more susceptible when persuading and being persuaded.
        “ Mirroring and matching others’ actions doesn’t mean repeating them exactly, movement for movement. Rather, you reflect the sense of what they’re communicating. ”